I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
