Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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