i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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