your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
well most of my day revolves around power hour
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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