The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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