i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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