Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
