I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
