Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
