The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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