When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
