pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
