Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
