I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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