Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
