I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
