Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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