it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i out mim tonsoeep
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