I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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