I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
