whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
