i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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