WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
