oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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