Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
