You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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