I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
