how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
