My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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