I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i now understand why vodka
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
