Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
