ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
