I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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