I think I died a long time ago.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
