I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
