but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
