I hate all girls vehemently.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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