I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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