hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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