I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
