I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
