there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
