Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
