i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
