I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
