did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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