she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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