chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
