now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
