Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
