Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
