like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
