everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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