We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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